New Book

I have decided that I want to write a book, and it's much harder than I would have thought. Coming up with all of the characters names and extraneous details, ugh. So much to research, but I am determined to come up with an actual novel.

Noob Gaming

I have to take a Speech class (STUPID GEN EDS) and was told that I had to write an informative speech. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited unil the night before it was due to start it. So here is what I came up with.

Griefing, lag, hackers, Martyrdom, spawn camping, sucky teams, the list goes on and on. There is always that insufferable gamer that ruins the experience for everyone, it can change a full round of team deathmatch to 3 players on each team because everyone left the game. But who takes the cake for being the most annoying person online? Will it be the noob-tuber, the camper, or the little kid?

                First, the noob-tuber. For those of you who aren’t avid COD players, a “noob tube” is an expression used for the grenade launcher attachment used by newcomers to Modern Warfare, or the 4^th installment of Call of Duty. Essentially, it requires no skill or effort to use this weapon due to its wide kill radius and high power. It is considered cheap and lame to use the attachment, and sure to make everyone mad. 

                Now, before I continue, I want to make sure that everyone is on the same page. A noob is a newcomer to the game, and don’t really know what they are doing.  But while this tactic is called the “noob”-tuber, it is also widely used by jerks that have been in the game for a while, and just use it to piss everyone off. These people are an entirely different breed referred to as trolls or “the rager”, but that is a totally different topic. Basically, noob-tubing is highly disliked by the entire gaming community.

                Second  is the camper. A camper is someone who picks a strategic position and plays the waiting game. The will stay in this same spot where they can’t be seen for extended periods of time until a target runs in front of them. The point of the tactic is the surprise your enemy and take him out with ease. Now, this is a legitimate strategy, but it is considered unskillful, it slows down the game, and just drives everyone crazy. And not only will you make your enemies mad, you will anger everyone on the game, because you aren’t being a team player. Especially if you deploy this tactic during Search and Destroy.

                If you are the camper, you will try to argue that you have a higher KD (kill-death ratio, or to break it down more how many times you kill someone and how many times you die) than anyone, and that we are just mad. You might also say we have “bad strat” (poor strategies) and that running around searching for your enemy is a bad idea. Well, all I have to say to that is you are ridiculed and resented, I am not. So if it helps you sleep at night, yes your KD is higher than mine, congratulations camper.

                Finally, “The Little Kid”. There are so many aspects of an obnoxious child gamer, it will be hard to explain all of them. Little Kids usually play like noobs, and employ such tactics as noob-tubing and camping. In addition to that they double flash (flash bangs are grenades that blind and deafen those near it) to ensure they get the kill, constantly blocks doorways, and standing in the way of the guy you are trying to snipe. Not only that, but these 5 year olds are cussing worse than anyone else online. While they are shooting off these cuss words with their high pitched voices, they are also shrieking and destroying your eardrums, and sing the entire time EVERY TIME in the lobby. These gamers are not only ridiculed, but they are told multiple times to shut up, and when the distraction continues, the mute toggle is put into action. All the while you sit there wondering why their parents were irresponsible enough to buy their 5 year old an M-Rated game. Get back to to Cars 2 kids.

                All in all, Call of Duty, or any multiplayer platform can be ruined by people who can’t just play for fun. You’re either too worried about yourself, or go into the game just to piss everyone off.  If you want to enter the gaming world, please take these tips; DON’T NOOB-TUBE, DON’T CAMP, and above all else  DON’T PLAY IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 17. If you follow these rules, you will avoid being roasted by fellow players, and if you spot one of these players, tear them down with the new lingo you learned today.

College Internet

Frustration. SO MUCH FRUSTRATION.
For those of you who have never experienced using college internet, it is much like playing Mario, getting to the level before the castle, losing your last life, and having to start all over again. It is the most annoying shit in the world, and you want to throw your controller across the room, but in this case, it is a very expensive laptop and I have to control myself.
Internet on a college campus is so slow and breaks out every two seconds, it makes gaming incredibly difficult and annoying. You lag like a mofo and and get kicked out of every game you try to join on Call of Duty. This is also very annoying when you lose connection during the middle of a quest on World of Warcraft.
Essentially, all of my characters look like down syndrome babies because they can barely move and tend to give up and shut down.
Does anyone else share my pain?

Pottermore Beta Testing

Alas, my owl has finally delivered my welcome letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I do believe Errol was the one delivering the post, for my letter came 7 years late. I must question, who else has received their welcome email to the Pottermore Beta Testing site? I know I scared the shit out of my  roommates when I finally opened the email I have been anxiously awaiting. Receiving that email was probably the most exciting moment of my life. Naturally, I immediately logged on to Pottermore and spent the rest of my day there. Now, you are either wondering, well was it worth staying up until 5 AM waiting for the magic quill to present itself or who gives Pettigrew's Ass (Pun Intended).

Well for those of you that do care, I absolutely loved it. The sneak peeks into stories that Rowling never expressed in the series were well worth the wait. I was quite excited to learn the background stories of Professor McGonnagal, as well as Petunia and Uncle Vernon. Not only this, but I was  issued  my very own wand (Hazel, Unicorn, 11 inches, unyielding) and I was sorted into Ravenclaw House (no surprise there). Unfortunately,  I finished the first book before the day was over, and was extremely disappointed when I discovered that you could not access the next 6. I assumed that since it was the beta version, they were only offering the first book, and would release the rest in October when the site was officially opened.

NOT SO. Apparently, we are not getting anymore books until JANUARY. I was quite angered by this fact, and made it seem almost pointless to waste hours getting on to the site. Not only that, but Wizard Dueling is currently unavailable, so the only thing to do when you finish reading is to brew potions and practice spells. Well let me tell you, brewing potions is annoying as fuck. If you mess up one thing, you have to start all over, it doesn't matter that you just waited 90 minutes to get to that step. On top of that, you have a time limit to get everything right. So then you are rushed and more prone to screw up. Don't get me wrong, it is well worth it in the end, but if this is what I am expected to do until January, I will lose interest.

Essentially, my opinion is iffy on Pottermore. Many aspects excite me, and many disappoint. What do you all think?