Griefing, lag,
hackers, Martyrdom, spawn camping, sucky teams, the list goes on and on. There
is always that insufferable gamer that ruins the experience for everyone, it
can change a full round of team deathmatch to 3 players on each team because
everyone left the game. But who takes the cake for being the most annoying
person online? Will it be the noob-tuber, the camper, or the little kid?
First,
the noob-tuber. For those of you who aren’t avid COD players, a “noob tube” is
an expression used for the grenade launcher attachment used by newcomers to
Modern Warfare, or the 4th installment of Call of Duty. Essentially,
it requires no skill or effort to use this weapon due to its wide kill radius
and high power. It is considered cheap and lame to use the attachment, and sure
to make everyone mad.
Now,
before I continue, I want to make sure that everyone is on the same page. A
noob is a newcomer to the game, and don’t really know what they are doing. But while this tactic is called the “noob”-tuber,
it is also widely used by jerks that have been in the game for a while, and
just use it to piss everyone off. These people are an entirely different breed
referred to as trolls or “the rager”, but that is a totally different topic.
Basically, noob-tubing is highly disliked by the entire gaming community.
Second is the camper. A camper is someone who picks
a strategic position and plays the waiting game. The will stay in this same
spot where they can’t be seen for extended periods of time until a target runs
in front of them. The point of the tactic is the surprise your enemy and take
him out with ease. Now, this is a legitimate strategy, but it is considered
unskillful, it slows down the game, and just drives everyone crazy. And not
only will you make your enemies mad, you will anger everyone on the game,
because you aren’t being a team player. Especially if you deploy this tactic
during Search and Destroy.
If
you are the camper, you will try to argue that you have a higher KD (kill-death
ratio, or to break it down more how many times you kill someone and how many
times you die) than anyone, and that we are just mad. You might also say we
have “bad strat” (poor strategies) and that running around searching for your
enemy is a bad idea. Well, all I have to say to that is you are ridiculed and
resented, I am not. So if it helps you sleep at night, yes your KD is higher
than mine, congratulations camper.
Finally,
“The Little Kid”. There are so many aspects of an obnoxious child gamer, it
will be hard to explain all of them. Little Kids usually play like noobs, and
employ such tactics as noob-tubing and camping. In addition to that they double
flash (flash bangs are grenades that blind and deafen those near it) to ensure
they get the kill, constantly blocks doorways, and standing in the way of the
guy you are trying to snipe. Not only that, but these 5 year olds are cussing
worse than anyone else online. While they are shooting off these cuss words
with their high pitched voices, they are also shrieking and destroying your
eardrums, and sing the entire time EVERY TIME in the lobby. These gamers are
not only ridiculed, but they are told multiple times to shut up, and when the distraction
continues, the mute toggle is put into action. All the while you sit there
wondering why their parents were irresponsible enough to buy their 5 year old an
M-Rated game. Get back to to Cars 2 kids.
All
in all, Call of Duty, or any multiplayer platform can be ruined by people who
can’t just play for fun. You’re either too worried about yourself, or go into
the game just to piss everyone off. If
you want to enter the gaming world, please take these tips; DON’T NOOB-TUBE,
DON’T CAMP, and above all else DON’T
PLAY IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 17. If you follow these rules, you will avoid
being roasted by fellow players, and if you spot one of these players, tear
them down with the new lingo you learned today.
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